KEIKI O KA AINA (CHILDREN OF THE LAND)

The Stars of "Hey, Cuz!"
From left to right--KALAU, KAUA, RYDER
(Photo courtesy of Silas Kaumakahia Aqui)

These are the children of tomorrow.  


Born just months apart of each other in 2010, they have all made a significant impact on and contribution to their respective parents (and, in the case of Kalau, an older sibling).  

From an epic tale begun years ago by patriarchs and matriarchs (great-grandparents Silas and Marion, for example, but surely others as well) and woven intricately like a tapestry taking on new patterns of its own with the heralding and the passing of each year, we come down to these newest and most welcome additions to the extended ohana.

We revel with each new "first" that each child experiences, and we hope beyond hope that mankind will choose wisdom over selfishness so that these beautiful, joyful, and adorable keiki o ka aina will have many years to explore, experience, build upon, contribute to, and be blessings and assets to their island as well as global communities.

In a world that has seemingly forgotten the intrinsic value of the "little things," may we members of our precious ohana always remember to honor, uplift, share wisdom with, 

and be grateful for our "little ones..."  

They are, after all, our closest earthly links to God and His angels.

So, without further ado, let's "listen in" on the current conversation that these three cousins are engaged in...

KAUA:  Chee, cuz!  It don't get bettah dan dis!

KALAU:  Dat hapa-haole babe at the next table was one good-lookin' wahine!  Shoulda got her stroller plate!

RYDER:  I got room fo' one mo' da kine shrimp tempura!  Well, mebbe...my stomach stahting to make noise.

HISTAMINE REACTION IN 3...2...1!

Walla Walla Nature Respite

"Hurry up!  

Take the shot already!  

I'm about ready to sneeze!"

STUCK ON HEIGHTS!

Ryan
Mt. Bishop
 San Luis Obispo

"Man, I gotta hand it to you...having Super Glue along on this hike was a great idea.  I feel really secure knowing my shoes aren't going anywhere."

"Tell me about it.  I shoulda worn gloves."

A SHAKA, BRAH! MOMENT

Ryan and Dylan Watanabe @ Wailua Falls, Kauai
(Photo courtesy of Amber)

"Wow, Dylan!  You're a load to carry!"

"Yep, Ryan!  I am over 60 pounds!"

"And how old are you?"

"5 years old!"

"You're a big boy, Dylan!  Pretty soon, I won't be able to carry you!" 

"That's right, Ryan...so enjoy it while you can!"

MADE FROM THE FINEST NATURAL INGREDIENTS

Wailua Falls, Kauai
(Photo courtesy of Ryan)

With the departure of traditional agricultural industries like sugar cane and pineapple, local Kauai entrepreneurs have been motivated to utilize akamai alternatives.

Take this chocolate milk production factory, for example...

A WARM FELINE FUZZY

Complementary Cat Coupling


You got my back,
and I got yours!


Wherefore they are no more twain, 
but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together,
let not man put asunder.


Matthew 19:6, KJV

LIFE IMITATES ART--THE HAWAIIAN VERSION OF JACOB

The magnificent Legend in the role of Jacob the Werewolf, Hawaiian style.
(Photo courtesy of Silas Kaumakahia Aqui)


Do not fear, Dylan.  I am sent to keep vigilant watch over you.

You will be safe as you embark upon your journey.


Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace
 whose mind is stayed on thee:
  because he trusteth in thee.
(Isaiah 26:3, KJV)

AN UNEXPECTED ENCOUNTER

Dylan with Amber
(Photo courtesy of Ryan)


"It's him, Amber!  I know it's him!"

"Dylan, I need you to be absolutely still, okay?"

"Amber, I'm so scared!"

"I know, Dyl."  

"I saw the movie.  I know what he can do."

"Huh?  Movie?"

"You know, the one about the fight in the woods."

"Fight?"

"Yeah, the vampires were fighting with the werewolves!"

"Oh, I see.  So you think that's--"

"Jacob!  Jacob the werewolf!"

"Okay, Dyl.  I want you to give him your best smile, okay?  Maybe he just wants to be friends!"

"Oh, I'm too scared to smile.  I want to run, but my legs won't move!"

"I know, Dyl.  Just try your best.  Big smile!  Okay?"

"Oh, alright.  How's this?"

What were Dylan and Amber seeing on the path home?  What was filling Dylan's heart with such dread?




(The answer is in the next post.)





 

YOU GOT ME? UH-UH, I GOT YOU!

Silas Kaumakahia Aqui with 6 lb Octopus
(Photo courtesy of Silas K. Aqui)

In an alternative universe

far, far away,

an octopus has added 

a recent post to its blog:

"Check out the 200-lb

human I just caught!"

http://gan.doubleclick.net/gan_click?lid=41000000005617196&pubid=21000000000333446 

PORTAL

Pensive Ryan
(Photo Courtesy of Amber)


What the--!?

No way!

E. T.?

PARENTS--THE BANE OF TEENAGE EXISTENCE

Nene--The State Bird of Hawaii
(Photo courtesy of Ryan)

Pssst...Junior!
It's so embarrassing
that our parents
never learned
how to pick
matching socks!

THE BIGGEST CATCH OF HIS LIFE!

Silas Kaumakahia Aqui pole fishing from rocks at Poipu Beach



Dang!
I done hooked
an island resort!

DYLAN'S AUDITION

Dylan Watanabe, Amber, and Christopher Kainoa
(Photo courtesy of Ryan) 

Dylan auditioning for the lead role

in "Oliver Twist"--

"Please, sir, may I have some more

guava juice?"

KONA DOES "THE EXORCIST"

Don't know how Linda Blair did it,

but I'm certainly incapable of doing a 360

with my head.  

This is the best I can do.

Better get a stunt double!

Kona in his new resting place
(Photo courtesy of Ryan)

KICKIN' IT WITH BULA

Ryder Silas Vivas
(Photo courtesy of Lele Bryson)

Aloha from the Garden Island!  


My name is Ryder Silas Vivas, but  you can call me BULA.


If I seem a little shell-shocked, it's only because I just got off the phone with my agent.


The Seahawks have just signed me as their primo field goal kicker commencing the 2032 season!


I got all kinds of signing bonuses.


A full scholarship to AE Kamalii Pre School in Lihue.  


My own million dollar crib, complete with a mini-elevator so I can  play peek-a-boo with my cousins--Dylan, Kalau, and Kaua.  


A lifetime subscription to PLAYPEN magazine.  (And, by the way, yours truly is the centerfold in the August issue this year.  I get to endorse and model my new line of speedo diapers--I call it SPAMPERS!  Made in grownup sizes as well.  eMail me for details.)



A lifetime gig as model and spokesperson for WIC, the agency that has generously provided excellent nutrition for millions of low income women, infants, and children.


And, last but not least, 22.8 million dollars in Geoffrey Bucks, good at any Toys R Us department store.  My homies in the hood are gonna be really happy next Christmas.


I praise God for the good genetics passed on to me by my very athletic parents--Bryson (wrestling, mixed martial arts, motorcycling, surfing, swimming, paddle boarding) and LeLe (cheerleading, running, swimming, bicycling, hula dancing).


But the person I really owe my dynamic quads to is my beloved Jijima--my maternal great-grandmother, Marion Haruko Toguchi Aqui.  


Why?  Because ever since I was about 3 weeks old, she would hold my hands and encourage me to stand on her lap.


She had me do at least a set of ten deep knee bends every single day.


Today, I squat over 500.  Diapers, that is.


Are you looking at my photo?  Do you see the immense size of my kanaka ham hocks?  They're a tribute to my Jijima!


God-willing, that's my ticket to someday being the greatest field goal kicker in NFL history.


It was a kick in the disposable diaper to blog for you today.


This is Ryder Silas Vivas, aka BULA.  


Peace.  Out.

MISSING FINGERS MUTUAL ADMIRATION SOCIETY

Dinner at Hanamaulu Cafe
(Photo courtesy of Rita)

Intelligent looking enough...

So why would all three of them

stick their hands under the moray eel's rock?

YOU DO BELIEVE IN CATCH AND RELEASE, DON'T YOU?

Moana (Goatfish) Caught at Poipu Beach
(Photo courtesy of Ryan)

Look, I'm just small fry.
  

Throw me back, and I'll bring you the leader of the cartel.

That's right.  You heard me.  

I'll bring you the Big Kahuna himself...

Charlie da Tuna!

What?!?  You're allergic to tuna?

Wait a sec!  Come on, man!  We can work this out.  

How about mahimahi?  Marlin?  Swordfish?

Oh, sorry about that...I'm so nervous and scared I wet your palm.

Let me talk to your supervisor.  Okay, your bait man.  


Anybody!

I'm confident we can work out a win-win scenario.

Negotiation is key, man!

Okay, how about a phone call?  

Something I didn't tell you...I  have high levels of mercury in my fat cells.


And I have 28% body fat.  

CHILLIN' WITH DYLAN

Dylan Watanabe and Amber
(Photo courtesy of  Ryan)

Aunty Amber, let's play Hawaii 5-0!

Since you're 5'9", you can be Kono!

And, at 3'6", I'd be perfect for the part of Dano!

NEW YEAR'S DILEMMA

The Three Cousins--Kalau, Kaua, and Ryder
(Photo courtesy of Ryan)


Okay...(hic!)...fellahs!
I goin' say dis (hic!) one mo' time.
Somebody gotta be da (hic!) designated drivah!
Who goin' da kine step up?

THE INCREDIBLE TWELVE-FOOTED HEN

Fete of Feet
(Photo courtesy of Ryan)

I just knew I shouldn't have gone to Kahoolawe.
It's one thing to survive the blast.
But, oh, that radiation!

FRUSTRATION D'AMOUR

Spouting Horn at Poipu
(Photo courtesy of Ryan)


Offshore, four miles towards the horizon,
the love-stricken humpback suitor
pines for his landlocked lady.

WELCOME TO 2011

HAUOLI MAKAHIKI HOU!

May God bless you with abundant showers of His grace in this wonderful and awesome new year of 2011!

Hibiscus at Princeville
(Photo courtesy of Ryan)